she said.

I’ve smeared my makeup and knotted my hair.
It’s not even noon yet.
Her words were meant to be comforting.
She gave tips on how to numb myself, and pull myself away.
How to give up without walking away.
Comparing me to the most crushing relationship I’ve ever known.
Just hold on, she said.
What kind of a life is that? I said.
She told me how to keep busy and fill my time with other things.
Bide my time with other people.
I’m not condoning or disapproving, she said.
It’s just the way it is, she said.
Her words brought out what I’d been swallowing.
Feeling it spill down my cheeks.
She told me to make a plan, set my goals, write it down.
How to turn this into something.
It felt like a long time coming.
Hearing it from someone else makes it cold, makes it real.
Uh huh, I said.
I have to go wash my face, I said.

10.22.2010

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47 thoughts on “she said.

  1. Sometimes the hope, the lifeline that we are looking for isn’t what we get. Others’ advice can make life seem even more bleak than before, and I don’t even think they mean it to be that way. Whatever the serious situation and details, know that there really is hope out there. The one factor that you can control is you. If you uphold who you are, there will be an answer. Hang in there.

  2. When love fails, everyone has an opinion as to what you should do.
    Follow your heart and do what’s right for you.

    Sad and heartfelt.

  3. My mom and I always seem to say the wrong things to each, we really just don’t communicate well. She’s gotten in her head I have no feelings so you can imagine the damage. This is a powerful and beautifully written poem

    1. Thank you, I can relate to what you’ve said. My mother thinks I’m too sorrowful and I think she’s in denial. Often her survivalist views crush my romantic ones.

  4. I had an emotional reaction to your poem. I felt the feeling I have had when someone is attempting to support me, but it’s not what I want to hear and I just shut down. That your poem brought those feelings forth, well, it’s doing it’s job!

    1. Thank you! That is a very accurate description of how I was feeling and I’m pleased that the poem actually conveys and provokes that emotion. I truly appreciate your opinion.

  5. I like how the poem kept me wanting to read more to see how it would end. It made me think about my own emotions when I’m hearing words that I’m not ready to listen to yet. Thanks for sharing.

    1. I often feel like I’m not ready for what I’m hearing – very apt way to describe the feeling and the poem itself. Thank you for reading and sharing your opinion.

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