nothing humane in humanity.

November 2, 2011

I am disgusted with humanity. Not a shred left of the humane in this entire God-forsaken breed. Nothing is altruistic. Nothing is dignified. Only self-preservation is sacred. We are pathetic. We are sloppy, dismal, repulsive parasites crawling in and out of each others’ lives leaving trails of slime and filth and heartache on whomever we touch, leaving insults and contempt wherever we go. We flop around like foul fish on one another’s bodies dropping beads of sweat and revolt on hungry faces and no one is ever satisfied. No taste or touch is love. Each movement is purely depraved instinct. Every drink, every clink of glasses is a contract, a consummation of who shall devour whom in a gluttonous, greedy attempt to eat or be eaten. Each kiss is an attempt to consume another being to aide in digestion of our own self-pity and acidic words and bitter disappointments of the past. We leave every plate empty, licked-clean, before piling onto another like flies on rotten meat. We lay our eggs of inadequacy there and overcome so-called human spirit by deplorable mutiny, infiltrating from within beginning with one’s heart. Tearing the flesh from inside out, we remove each others’ souls with our teeth, fingertips and false sentiments before moving in on another and another and another to ease our own pain and lamentable self-loathing. We cling to other beings, pulling them under to save ourselves. We writhe on top of them, smearing them with sorrows and tainting them with our shortcomings while filling them up with empty promises, selfish needs and our own clumsy, carnal atonements. And when we’re done and they’re dripping with our own worthlessness, we’re disgusted. We’re disgusted with the salty, used up, disdainful shell of a being we’ve drained dry and left hollow and lifeless. No one wants to fuck a carcass.

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32 Responses to “nothing humane in humanity.”

  1. Tincup said

    Holy shit…your best post yet…although I haven’t read them all…but can’t imagine one matches that. What in god’s name did you do on Halloween? LOL

  2. Well said. On the flipside – I hope to see the opposite of this one some day… 😉

    • Fountains said

      Yes, me too. Well, I have written many poems on the hope for humanity and the beauty of sex and love but this evening I felt the need to acknowledge this ugly pattern.

  3. There is a fierce strength in this frustration. I am probably going to sound absurd for saying so, but I think, even in the face of such cynicism and disgust, there is a sensuality in the way you express things. It is a glorious tirade against society and relationships that I was surprised to find I really enjoyed. The bitter taste struck a sense that I could relate to. Great work

  4. dnim detrevortni said

    Ah, just the precise dose of misanthropy needed to awaken from a purely optimistic slumber; leaves a bittersweet taste on my existential palate. 😛 I like!
    Described beyond words (as I have come to see as your “trademark”), a portrait of a piece of human nature.

  5. dnim detrevortni said

    I tread with caution as I say this :). In the words of Camus, “It is not your painting that I like, it is your painting”. It is not the subject of the paintings that is most important; it is your painting. It is not the materials used; it is how you use them. It is not what is displayed; it is how it is displayed. Others might use the same materials or image, but that is not what makes the difference. No matter what subject or material is used, it is the painter who makes the difference. 😉
    With that said, we at times may find things in the most unlikely of places. 🙂
    Painting is silent poetry, and poetry is painting that speaks. – Plutarch

    • Fountains said

      I am utterly in love with everything you’ve said! You may have swollen my ego enough for me to float away. 😛 I’ll remember your words and these quotes next time I’m feeling inadequate as a poet, and tell myself I am merely a painter. 😉

      • dnim detrevortni said

        It elevates mine knowing my words had such effects 😉
        [You have reminded me of a certain poem I will shortly post; hope you read it :P]

      • Fountains said

        I did take a stroll through your posts and very much enjoyed what I read, but to which were you referring?

      • dnim detrevortni said

        Your words,”float away”, created a vision of the poem that is contained in the post titled “In The Heavenly Realm” 😉 You will see why.
        Thanks for walking through the figments of my imagination 😛

      • Fountains said

        Ahhh, I look forward to making this connection. 😉

  6. The human race as a whole is quite messed up indeed. I’ve heard you talk about this from time to time, but here you’ve done a wonderful job placing it together to form this beautiful, deranged, and accurate representation of how our race as a whole take advantage of each other in our own personal quest for self-indulgence while neglecting those around us. Tis sad that it is indeed so accurate.

    • Fountains said

      I like how you said that – beautiful and deranged. I appreciate you always finding the silver linings to my clouds. Thank you endlessly.

      • You are the writer/painter. You do it and make it public to be read, understood, and appreciated. I am merely the observer to your works. You publish for your words to be viewed and connected with and that’s where I come in. 🙂

        So thank you Cheri for exposing the truths that you’ve learned and the emotions that run hand-in-hand with them. Inspiration comes from numerous fountains and you are one of mine. Be it inspiration to write or inspiration to keep moving forward in life in the ways that I need to go, I give you the credit you’re due. You thank me endlessly, but it is I who should thank you.

        So paint ye lowly painter
        Fill our skies with autumn’s hue
        And tell us your heart’s story
        From your pallet with shades of blue

        Speak forth to us dear painter
        Tell us life, to our ears ring
        And continue for us to teach us
        For your words do suit a king

        Greatfulness and gratitude
        Fill all who hear the strokes
        Of your brush against the canvas’ front
        As you speak about your road

      • Fountains said

        Oh, I love that I am one of your fountains! 🙂 And this little poem I will hold near and dear to my heart. It is as inspiring as it is skillful. I love “paint ye lowly painter” and may borrow it from you sometime.

  7. dragonstrand said

    In “holding up the mirror” we often only reveal the reflection of ourselves.

  8. dragonstrand said

    That in itself already makes you exceptional . . . .

  9. Whenever I feel that way, when I’m reminded that mankind is a spoiled-rotten species that doesn’t appreciate its blessings, when it hits me again in the face like a cinder block that we as a collective are still more beast than angel, I try to pull myself back and remember that the journey is not worldly, external, materialistic. It is personal, introverted, spiritual, and that inherently makes it very lonely. The only outward satisfaction I find in this vein of thought is occasionally seeing someone else on the same lonely journey, not so much that I found a kindred spirit, that would be just way too sappy, but rather, it reminds me that this isn’t in vain.

    I became convinced a long time ago that not all of us have souls, and those of us who do suffer if we wish to keep them intact. You can’t be successful as both a master of worldly bullshit and a steward of the spirit. Jesus was much more eloquent, you cannot serve both mammon and God.

    • Fountains said

      I grew up in a religious household and do not practice any form of religion now, but what you’ve said about souls has deeply resonated with me. It’s been a long time since someone has said something that stirred a thought or feeling within me so profoundly. I believe you’ve inspired an idea that I’d like to explore. You’ve also given me a bit of breathing room in knowing that I’m not alone in this loneliness and that someone else thinks it all isn’t in vain. I can only hope that I suffer because I have a soul and be comforted that that soul feels deeply. I should find the beauty in that, not just the ugliness.

  10. How romantic 😉 I’m often struck with the same sentiments, wondering why the jewel of humanity so often looks like a rusty discarded coin, all value long since lost. And if I held the view that man was basically good this dissonance would probably drive me to insanity. But when you view humanity as walking corpses there’s still that sense of disgust–the walking dead are not a pleasant sight. Yet instead of shock, there’s pity. And there’s hope, for you were once a corpse too, and know that if life can reach you in that state, it can reach even the ugliest baddest zombie of all. This is a terrible metaphor, but I am no philosopher. I am merely a truth-seeker. 🙂

    • Fountains said

      Wordcoaster! Welcome back, my original WP friend! I hope school is going well for you. 🙂 Shock and pity, yes. You’ve said that perfectly, as always. And I totally am the baddest zombie of all. 😛

      • School is going well, though I must say I feel like I’m drowning most of the time– (must mean I’m learning something, right? That’s exactly how I felt in swimming lessons and eventually I learned to doggy-paddle :P) It’s so nice to have a break and do a bit of pleasure-reading in my spare time. I should have known that the F in BAMF stood for Fountain, the baddest zombie of them all. Keep up the acerbic wit (your bite is worse than your bark) I’ll always be a fan 🙂

    • Fountains said

      Wordcoaster! Welcome back, my original WP friend! I hope school is going well for you. 🙂 Shock and pity, yes. You’ve said that perfectly, as always. And I totally am the baddest zombie of all. 😛

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