dollar bills.

They hand me dollar bills,
without looking me in the face.
I beam broadly at no one,
a fool on stage,
a clown in costume,
graciously, hungrily,
accepting generosity,
from anyone willing,
from anyone giving,
from all whom Iโ€™ve spent a lifetime,
knowing I was better than,
while throwing away this infamous grin,
my reputable, falsifiable smile,
pretending all the while,
it wasnโ€™t just four months ago,
that I was doing all in my power,
to get the hell out,
of this ill-fitting town,
to which now I’m devoted by the hour.


29 thoughts on “dollar bills.

    1. I think the Lady said: “knowing I was better than”, not “thinking”. A subtle, but important, difference.

      I suppose this could be a “trap”–on the other hand, so would knowing or thinking you were equal or inferior to others. Which trap is worse?

      “The Other is Hell”
      J.P. Sartre

      Intriguing poem by the way Mademoiselle Fontaines. It begs a question I will abstain from asking. You are looking rather “Down by the River where it’s warm and green” in your new photo. Got a lot to think about?


      1. @dragonstrand: there is no such thing as truth. Reality is subjective.

        Read the existentialist philosophers. We each create the world we live in. Most of the heartache and misery in this world was created by those who claim to know the “truth” and those who follow those who claim to know the truth.

        Then again, I may be wrong ๐Ÿ˜‰

      2. D.S.: Would “there is no such thing as truth” itself be a “truth” then? ๐Ÿ™‚

        I do agree with you, however, if what you mean by that statement is that there is no such thing as absolute truth(s)–that does not prevent us from discovering truth(s) for ourselves and living by them.. Forcing such truth(s) upon others as “absolute”, or trying to convert others into believing they are absolutely true is another question and problem altogether.

        Having quoted Sartre in my original reply, it should be evident that I am familiar with existentialism–however, they are themselves just fallible human beings, not authorities. Statements such as: “There is no such thing as truth” or “Reality is subjective” threaten to become dogmas in their own right if left unexamined and unquestioned.

        Cheers Mate,


      3. If you boys are going to go fisticuffs, someone should at least remove their shirt first. ๐Ÿ˜›

        But more importantly, that which a person “knows” is fact/truth to them… And some people know their worth and capability. Living up to potential is another story.

      4. Lady Fontaines: I had to take a deep dive down below, shake off some dragonslayers and whale hunters–you know the types. I’ve come back up for air now, and here you are with your life in an upheaval! I’d have never guessed such a thing. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Let’s talk . . .

      5. “But more importantly, that which a person โ€œknowsโ€ is fact/truth to themโ€ฆ And some people know their worth and capability.”

        In other words, to quote an Existentialist philosopher we both are fond of: “The noble soul has reverence for itself.”

      6. I don’t know if I can be that knight in shining armor to you Mademoiselle Fontaines . . . unless you don’t mind finding scales beneath the metal.

      7. The question then inevitably becomes: What did you find beneath the armor of scales?

  1. @dragonstrand: I think Sartre had some wonderful ideas but was a damn boring writer, my friend.

    Here is what I really think about the nature of truth and reality:


    And here is what my favorite philosopher said about it: โ€œYour life has a limit but knowledge has none. If you use what is limited to pursue what has no limit, you will be in danger.โ€ โ€“Chuang Tzu

    1. I tend to agree with you about Sartre.

      As for “what you really think about the nature of truth and reality”, I certainly get that too. On the other hand, one eventually finds oneself compelled to speak, to write, to act, only once again to return on the other side of these things to the silent abyss . . . and then once again, to emerge from it, ad infinitum. This just seems to be part of the cycle of Life, or if you prefer, Existence.

      Finally, while one may indeed find oneself “in danger” by pursuing knowledge, is dwelling in ignorance any safer? In the end there is no safe haven in Existence, no matter how much people would like to believe otherwise. We cannot escape the danger–we might as well become more conscious of it since it incessantly surrounds us anyway.

say something to me.

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